Category: Let's talk
I'm really interested to see what you all think about parents who blog or have websites and fb pages about their disabled children. How does it make you feel? Why do you think they do it?
I have a lot of views on this but I want to know what others think before I really go into that.
I don't know... I mean, if the parent wants to make the kid famous for being disabled then it's on them. but I don't think it's okay because everyone might know the kid and well, if it's a girl, something bad might happen to the kid. so yeah.
Personally, I think it's about choice or lack there of. I would have hated for my parents to parade me around online just because I have a disability. What does that say, that my worth is the attention I can bring them?
Parents, by oversharing, take those choices away from the kids. This happens with abled kids too, but especially when the child is disabled.
I would be OK with some of it, if names weren't used. Like if I had a blind child and felt that my views could help others with a blind child, maybe I would contribute to a Facebook group. And maybe I would not. It is hard to say. Up to a point I think sharing can be constructive, but you have to be super careful in my mind.
To be truthful, I think a lot of the oversharing that goes on these days crosses the line. Yeah my kid started school today at (name of school, name of grade, name of kid etc.). Do you really want the whole world to know this, or do you like the attention and newsbagging to your friends and colleagues? Not to mention the safety risks.
Yeah, agreed with this. There's a blindness blog, written by parents, but they tend to write advice articles, like how to introduce your child to braille. I actually wrote about my concerns on fb a while ago and the owner of that site started chatting to me. I was so happy that she is open to discussion, and I feel like her website doesn't cross these lines. The articles are designed to have use, rather than to parade the kids around.
Like with practically everything else, it's all about intent and content. For instance, a friend of mine has a blog in which she writes about the challenges faced by her and her autistic daughter. I believe she does this both as an outlet, but also for education. Autism is severely misunderstood by the world at large. It's fascinating and informative to read, to see the world through her mother's interpretation of her condition. personally I don't see anything wrong with that senario.
Yeah, I definitely think there are cases where the blog is written respectfully and it works.
I worry about the kids who are too young, or not able to consent. Or those whose parents post pictures of them online, but pictures showing personal medical issues. Or who talk about how much of a burden the child is. Those are the ones that worry me the most. I'm going to link to this article because I absolutely loved it and I hope you guys will too.
http://carlyfindlay.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/parents-blogging-about-their-children.html
I do not think parents should make their disabled child famous. I think it is
like a who cares kind of thing; the whole world doesn't care to read blog
posts about their child's medical history.
It all depends on what's shared, and how it's shared. I think it can be helpful, as a tool to educate the public. But a blogger needs to be very careful about the amount of details they share, as well as that they share in a respectful manner, not one that makes a martyr out of the parent, or a freak-show out of the child.
Hey, I like this compromise. Also someone raised a really good point on my facebook how a lot of parents have profiles with terrible privacy settings, and they post pictures of their kids, and personal info all the time. And yet, once that kid reaches 13 or so they are lecturing them about it. I think all parents, whether of disabled kids or not need to think more about what they post online.
I just don't understand it really. Maybe because I'm not a parent, but I don't know why you would want to share some of the very intimate info to the whole world. I can understand educational posts, and support groups, but some of it, like describing an autistic childs meltdown complete with pictures just seems really cruel. That child could grow up and find that post, and they not only have to deal with actually having a disability and everything that comes with it, but that the whole world had access to one of the most personal aspects of it as well.
I agree with Sister Dawn.
But parents talk about chids achievements all the time. Remove the disability, and it's the same thing.
I'd be happy to see a parent being proud of a child like this. Most aren't at all, and try to hide it.
That was a good point about immortalizing a kid's autistic meltdown. I remember seeing a video on Youtube where a parent had actually recorded their child doing just that. Which, frankly, is way, way worse than just a text description, even if a name wasn't used. I couldn't believe the parent actually had the balls to say that the video was for educational purposes. Well, not necessarily in those words, since it's been a few years since I saw it, but that was the gist of it. I thought that was wrong.
As for blogging, I agree with those who have said that if it's done right, it can actually be helpful, because not only can it raise awareness about issues surrounding disability, but it could even lead to increased advocacy and understanding. That's certainly a good thing. But, of course, since this is the internet, we're going to have 117,000 horrible examples to one great example of all of this in action.
Wow. Just imagine if a potential employer finds this kid's meltdown video 20 years from now.
Can't be held responsible. The parent posted it.
I doubt that will ever be a problem.
The problem with certain blogging situations is the echo chamber effect. That in combination with ideology gone feral -- who am I kidding? Ideology is nearly always feral -- and you have a recipe for disaster for the kid.
Everything gets stuck to the kid's disability. Is he sick? Nah, probably just faking it because disabled people want to get away with stuff. Having trouble at school? Probably just disabled and not conforming enough.
I'd think a blog situation with the echo chamber of fellow chanting ideologues would be in some ways way worse than the 70s. Just a weigh-in from your friendly neighborhood rogue.
I believe having a meltdown or other similarly embarrassing stuff on the internet could indeed have very real and dire consequences later on down the line if that person is looking for employment. And you can't even chalk it up to adolescent stupidity, or immaturity, or what have you, because the kid had no choice in the matter. Essentially, the parents are making sure their kid has a much harder time finding success and happiness. As if having a disability doesn't usually make this more difficult as it is!
From everything I've read over the past 5 years or so, employers are looking for anything and everything that they can use against potential applicants. Some have even gone so far as demanding potential employees' social media passwords, so that they can pry and see what's going on in the more private sections of the person's account. Well, that, and I would hope that the vast majority of people know that, nowadays, having too much information available publicly is practically hanging yourself before you ever go to an interview.